Latest funny quotes, page 7
needless holy wars-
stop the innocence's decay
white lily blooming
haiku by Dan Costinaş (2016)
Added by Dan Costinaş
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There once was a lady of Guam
Who said, "Now the sea is so calm,
I'll swim out, for a lark."
But she met a large shark.
Let us now sing the Ninetieth Psalm!
limerick by Edward Lear from A Book of Nonsense (1846)
Added by Dan Costinaş
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Cloten: Sirrah, if thou wouldst not be a villain, but do me true service, undergo those employments wherein I should have cause to use thee with a serious industry, that is, what villany soe'er I bid thee do, to perform it directly and truly, I would think thee an honest man.
classic line from the play Cymbeline, Act III, Scene 5, script by William Shakespeare (1611)
Added by Dan Costinaş
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In a cage at Saskatchewan Zoo
lived a cranky old cockatoo,
he was talking all day
and had something to say
to the resident kangaroo.
limerick by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Dan Costinaş
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A female and young cockatiel
had just finished her evening meal.
When an image occurred
of a masculine bird
who had feathers and sexual appeal.
limerick by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Dan Costinaş
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There was an old granny named Flo
she came down with gangrene on her toe,
so she went to the dentist
who was known as adventist
and he said 'it's a tooth for a toe.'
limerick by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Dan Costinaş
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He was scheduled to get a new kidney,
though he tried to obtain one from Whitney,
fifty million car parts
but no kidneys or hearts,
so he got his new kidney in Sydney.
limerick by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Dan Costinaş
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Any doctor today must have stealth,
as he deals with his patients' ill health.
Let me tell you, my friend
what goes on in the end,
it's a state-sanctioned transfer of wealth.
limerick by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Dan Costinaş
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A professor, quite brilliant but odd
loved the nightlife, the dirty old sod.
In the day he was thinking
and at night he was drinking.
In between he would pray to his God.
limerick by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Dan Costinaş
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There once was a maître d'
who had hurt during prayer his knee.
When no doctor could cure it
he was forced to endure it.
Now he's using the other knee.
limerick by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Dan Costinaş
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