Latest funny quotes, page 6
There was a sweet Miss from Kent
who got into trouble with her rent.
she spent all her cash
on nothing but trash
and now she's fasting for Lent.
limerick by Sylvia Spencer from Everyone Loves a Limerick
Added by Dan Costinaş
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There once was a drunk from Dover
who fell asleep in the clover.
he woke up and said,
what's this on my head
The cows had splattered him all over.
limerick by Sylvia Spencer from Everyone Loves a Limerick
Added by Dan Costinaş
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I remember dear Maude Skinner
Who ate beans, every night for dinner.
When she ate enough,
she would start to puff
and everyone was a winner.
limerick by Sylvia Spencer from Everyone Loves a Limerick
Added by Dan Costinaş
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King Claudius: How fares our cousin Hamlet?
Hamlet: Excellent, i' faith, of the chameleon's dish. I eat the air, promise-crammed. You cannot feed capons so.
classic lines from Hamlet, Act III, Scene 2 by William Shakespeare (1599)
Added by Dan Costinaş
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Cleaereta: Daylight, water, the sun, the moon, the night, these things I purchase not with money;
the rest, whatever we wish to enjoy, we purchase on Grecian trust.
line from Asinaria, Act I, Scene 3 by Plautus (212 B.C.), translated by Henry Thomas Riley
Added by Dan Costinaş
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Macbeth [Aside]: If chance will have me king, why, chance may crown me without my stir.
classic line from the play Macbeth, Act I, Scene 3, script by William Shakespeare (1606)
Added by Dan Costinaş
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Agrippa: Royal wench!
She made great Caesar lay his sword to bed.
He plowed her, and she cropped.
classic line from the play Antony and Cleopatra, Act II, Scene 2, script by William Shakespeare (1606)
Added by Dan Costinaş
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Love Yourself
Love starts with you and has no end.
It begins when you love your life’s best friend.
Look in the mirror and who do you see?
Hopefully, you’ll smile and wink proudly.
You and your ego will be so much nearer
When you love that smiling face in the mirror.
If you can’t say “I love myself humbly,”
Then you can’t love others genuinely.
Self love isn’t selfish nor is it vain.
Self love is the Foundation which will sustain
Our selfless feelings for our fellow man
To help through our life as best we can.
What do clouds feel if you haven't flown?
You can’t reflect love if you can’t feel your own.
You can’t enjoy that book on the library shelf,
If you’ve never learned to read yourself.
Nor can you appreciate a foreign to tongue
Without learning words from it’s very first rung.
Hearing but not knowing a word. So it is with love.
Avoid abandoning it with an emotional shove.
[...] Read more
poem by Gregory Huyette
Added by Ruth Solomon
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Albert: I've seen plenty of men die, but I've never seen a soul.
line from Accabadora, script by Antonia Iaccarino (2015)
Added by Festivalul Filmului European
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Clothes Do But Cheat And Cozen Us
Away with silks, away with lawn,
I'll have no scenes or curtains drawn;
Give me my mistress, as she is,
Dress'd in her nak'd simplicities;
For as my heart, e'en so mine eye
Is won with flesh, not drapery.
poem by Robert Herrick
Added by Dan Costinaş
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