Latest funny quotes, page 4

*****
*******
the twelve red berries
haiku by Richard Brautigan from June 30th, June 30th (1976)
Added by Dan CostinaÅŸ
Comment! | Vote! | Copy! | In Spanish | In Romanian


The Sea Hold
THE SEA is large.
The sea hold on a leg of land in the Chesapeake hugs an early sunset and a last morning star over the oyster beds and the late clam boats of lonely men.
Five white houses on a half-mile strip of land... five white dice rolled from a tube.
Not so long ago... the sea was large...
And to-day the sea has lost nothing... it keeps all.
I am a loon about the sea.
I make so many sea songs, I cry so many sea cries, I forget so many sea songs and sea cries.
I am a loon about the sea.
So are five men I had a fish fry with once in a tar-paper shack trembling in a sand storm.
The sea knows more about them than they know themselves.
They know only how the sea hugs and will not let go.
The sea is large.
The sea must know more than any of us.
poem by Carl Sandburg
Added by Dan CostinaÅŸ
Comment! | Vote! | Copy! | In Romanian

There once was a turkey named Chummy,
Mom thought that he might be quite yummy.
He waddled away
On Thanksgiving Day -
But still ended up in my tummy!
limerick by Leanne Guenther
Added by Dan CostinaÅŸ
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

There once was a clover named Kate,
Who sat on the edge of a plate,
The fancy folk dined,
On foods of all kind,
Then tossed her at quarter past eight.
limerick by Leanne Guenther
Added by Dan CostinaÅŸ
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!


harmattan winds...
crossing the border
with leaves
haiku by Adjei Agyei-Baah from Afriku (Haiku and Senryu from Ghana) (2016)
Added by Dan CostinaÅŸ
Comment! | Vote! | Copy! | In Spanish | In Romanian


The marriage of poor Kim Kardashian
Was krushed like a kar in a krashian.
Her Kris kried, "Not fair!
Why kan't I keep my share?"
But Kardashian fell klean outa fashian.
limerick by Salman Rushdie
Added by Dan CostinaÅŸ
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
$ui_text['home']="pagina principalã";
$ui_text['quote']="citat";
$ui_text['quotes']="citate";
$ui_text['of_the_moment']="momentului";
$ui_text['poem']="poezie";
$ui_text['song']="cântec";
$ui_text['epigram']="epigramã";
$ui_text['haiku']="haiku";
$ui_text['tanka']="tanka";
$ui_text['line']="replicã";
$ui_text['lines']="replici";
$ui_text['script']="scenariu";
$ui_text['proverb']="proverb";
$ui_text['aphorism']="aforism";
$ui_text['pictures']="imagini";
$ui_text['authors']="autori";
$ui_text['authors_list']="Lista de autori";
$ui_text['by']="de";
$ui_text['in']="în";
$ui_text['from']="din";
$ui_text['about']="despre";
$ui_text['sources']="surse cunoscute";
$ui_text['anniversary']="Aniversarea zilei";
$ui_text['related_quotes']="Citate similare";
$ui_text['latest_quotes']="Ultimele adãugãri";
$ui_text['random_quotes']="Citate la întâmplare";
$ui_text['more_quotes']="mai multe citate";
$ui_text['more']="mai multe";
$ui_text['read_more']="Citeºte tot";
$ui_text['unknown']="autor necunoscut/anonim";
$ui_text['translator']="traducere de";
$ui_text['performed']="interpretat de";
$ui_text['music']="muzica";
$ui_text['lyrics']="versuri";
$ui_text['moderator']="Moderator";
$ui_text['editors']="Editori";
$ui_text['user']="Adãugat de";
$ui_text['anonym']="anonim";
$ui_text['webmaster']="webmaster";
$ui_text['contact']="Contact";
$ui_text['stats']="Statistici";
$ui_text['until_now']="pânã în acest moment";
$ui_text['in_english']="în englezã";
$ui_text['in_romanian']="în românã";
$ui_text['page']="pagina";
$ui_text['page_first']="prima paginã";
$ui_text['page_previous']="pagina precedentã";
$ui_text['page_next']="pagina urmãtoare";
$ui_text['page_last']="ultima paginã";
$ui_text['search']="Cautã";
$ui_text['search_all']="integral";
$ui_text['search_sms']="SMS (citate scurte)";
$ui_text['search_recent']="cãutãri recente";
$ui_text['search_recent_title']="din cãutãri recente";
$ui_text['search_recent_list']="Vezi ºi rezultatele altor cãutari recente";
$ui_text['send_message']="Mesaj (adresa paginii este inclusã automat)";
$ui_text['send_name']="Semnãturã (numele expeditorului)";
$ui_text['send_mail']="Adresa de e-mail a expeditorului";
$ui_text['send_to']="Adresa de e-mail a destinatarului";
$ui_text['send_confirmation']="Recomandarea a fost trimisã. Se poate trimite altã recomandare.";
$ui_text['send_link']="Send by e-mail";
$ui_text['problem_mistake']="Acest text conþine o greºealã";
$ui_text['problem_duplicate']="Acest text apare duplicat";
$ui_text['problem_author']="Cunosc autorul acestui text";
$ui_text['problem_change']="Autorul acestui text este altul";
$ui_text['problem_another']="Altã problemã/completare";
$ui_text['problem_message']="Precizãri, dacã sunt necesare";
$ui_text['problem_name']="Semnãturã (numele expeditorului)";
$ui_text['problem_mail']="Adresa de e-mail (pentru cazul în care trebuie discutat)";
$ui_text['problem_confirmation']="Mesajul a fost trimis, mulþumim! Vom verifica în curând.";
$ui_text['problem_link']="Semnaleazã o problemã/completare";
$ui_text['vote']="vot";
$ui_text['vote_i']="idee";
$ui_text['vote_i5']="genialã";
$ui_text['vote_i4']="inteligentã";
$ui_text['vote_i3']="interesantã";
$ui_text['vote_i2']="îndoielnicã";
$ui_text['vote_i1']="stupidã";
$ui_text['vote_e']="exprimare";
$ui_text['vote_e5']="superbã";
$ui_text['vote_e4']="frumoasã";
$ui_text['vote_e3']="plãcutã";
$ui_text['vote_e2']="acceptabilã";
$ui_text['vote_e1']="banalã";
$ui_text['vote_t']="ton";
$ui_text['vote_t5']="comic";
$ui_text['vote_t4']="amuzant";
$ui_text['vote_t3']="ponderat";
$ui_text['vote_t2']="serios";
$ui_text['vote_t1']="trist";
$ui_text['vote_tip1']="un singur vot exprimat pânã acum";
$ui_text['vote_tipb']="media din";
$ui_text['vote_tipe']="voturi exprimate pânã acum";
$ui_text['vote_submit']="Votez";
$ui_text['vote_confirmation']="Votul a fost înregistrat. Rezultatul afiºat este media tuturor voturilor exprimate ºi cu cât sunt mai multe voturi, cu atât este mai vizibil. Votul poate fi modificat, votând din nou.";
$ui_text['vote_only1']="Un singur vot pânã acum, nu e relevant, voteazã!";
$ui_text['vote_only2']="Doar douã voturi pânã acum, nu e relevant, voteazã!";
$ui_text['vote_link']="Voteazã!";
$ui_text['copy_info']="Clic în câmp, apoi CTRL+C pentru a copia codul HTML";
$ui_text['copy_solid']="cadru cu linie simplã";
$ui_text['copy_dashed']="cadru cu linie întreruptã";
$ui_text['copy_dotted']="cadru cu linie punctatã";
$ui_text['copy_double']="cadru cu linie dublã";
$ui_text['copy_groove']="cadru cu linie canelatã";
$ui_text['copy_ridge']="cadru cu linie reliefatã";
$ui_text['copy_inset']="cadru coborât";
$ui_text['copy_outset']="cadru ridicat";
$ui_text['copy_no']="fãrã cadru";
$ui_text['copy_blue']="albastru";
$ui_text['copy_green']="verde";
$ui_text['copy_red']="roºu";
$ui_text['copy_purple']="purpuriu";
$ui_text['copy_cyan']="azuriu";
$ui_text['copy_gold']="auriu";
$ui_text['copy_silver']="argintiu";
$ui_text['copy_black']="negru";
$ui_text['copy_submit']="Schimbã";
$ui_text['copy_link']="Copiazã!";
$ui_text['comment']="comentariu";
$ui_text['comment_name']="Numele (obligatoriu)";
$ui_text['comment_mail']="Adresa de e-mail (nu este publicatã)";
$ui_text['comment_0']="Nu sunt comentarii pânã acum.";
$ui_text['comment_said']="a spus pe";
$ui_text['comment_show']="vezi citatul comentat";
$ui_text['comment_link']="Comenteazã!";
$ui_text['comments']="comentarii";
$ui_text['comments_latest']="Ultimele comentarii";
$ui_text['add_quote']="Adaugã citat";
$ui_text['add_check']="Verificã dacã existã deja pe site";
$ui_text['add_title']="Titlu";
$ui_text['add_author']="Numele autorului (nimic pentru autor necunoscut)";
$ui_text['add_lyrics']="Numele autorului versurilor (dacã se cunoaºte)";
$ui_text['add_composer']="Numele compozitorului muzicii (dacã se cunoaºte)";
$ui_text['add_performer']="Numele celui mai reprezentativ interpret (dacã este cazul)";
$ui_text['add_translator']="Numele traducãtorului (dacã este cazul)";
$ui_text['add_source']="Sursa (titlul cãrþii, filmului, publicaþiei etc, dacã se cunoaºte)";
$ui_text['add_source_song']="Album, operã sau folclor (dacã se cunoaºte)";
$ui_text['add_source_proverb']="Originea proverbului, la plural (de exemplu, proverbe româneºti)";
$ui_text['add_date']="Data când a fost scris sau publicat prima datã";
$ui_text['add_date2']="doar dacã data este cunoscutã; se poate completa doar anul sau luna ºi anul";
$ui_text['add_notes']="Observaþii (nu sunt publicate, dar sunt citite de webmaster ºi pot fi de folos pentru viitor)";
$ui_text['add_name']="Numele tãu (opþional, pentru creditare)";
$ui_text['add_mail']="Adresa de e-mail (opþional)";
$ui_text['add_confirm']="Înregistrarea a fost adãugatã în baza de date.";
$ui_text['submit']="Trimite";
$ui_text['nothing']="Nu este nimic de prezentat";
$ui_text['nothing_more']="Nu mai este nimic de prezentat";
$ui_text['month_01']="ianuarie";
$ui_text['month_02']="februarie";
$ui_text['month_03']="martie";
$ui_text['month_04']="aprilie";
$ui_text['month_05']="mai";
$ui_text['month_06']="iunie";
$ui_text['month_07']="iulie";
$ui_text['month_08']="august";
$ui_text['month_09']="septembrie";
$ui_text['month_10']="octombrie";
$ui_text['month_11']="noiembrie";
$ui_text['month_12']="decembrie";
?>
$ui_text['home']="home page";
$ui_text['quote']="quote";
$ui_text['quotes']="quotes";
$ui_text['of_the_moment']="of the moment";
$ui_text['poem']="poem";
$ui_text['song']="song";
$ui_text['limerick']="limerick";
$ui_text['epigram']="epigram";
$ui_text['tanka']="tanka";
$ui_text['haiku']="haiku";
$ui_text['senryu']="senryu";
$ui_text['murphism']="murphism";
$ui_text['line']="line";
$ui_text['lines']="lines";
$ui_text['script']="script";
$ui_text['proverb']="proverb";
$ui_text['aphorism']="aphorism";
// subiecte există deocamdată doar la italiană, portugheză, spaniolă şi catalană
$ui_text['celebration']="Celebration";
$ui_text['national_day']="National day";
$ui_text['character_of_the_day']="Character of the day";
$ui_text['topic_of_the_day']="Topic of the day";
$ui_text['topics']="topics";
$ui_text['pictures']="pictures";
$ui_text['authors']="authors";
$ui_text['authors_list']="List of authors";
$ui_text['by']="by";
$ui_text['in']="in";
$ui_text['from']="from";
$ui_text['about']="about";
$ui_text['sources']="known sources";
$ui_text['anniversary']="Today's anniversary";
$ui_text['related_quotes']="Related quotes";
$ui_text['latest_quotes']="Latest quotes";
$ui_text['latest_funny_quotes']="Latest funny quotes";
$ui_text['latest_aphorisms']="Latest aphorisms";
$ui_text['latest_lines']="Latest lines";
$ui_text['latest_poems']="Latest poems";
$ui_text['latest_limericks']="Latest limericks";
$ui_text['latest_haiku']="Latest haiku";
$ui_text['latest_proverbs']="Latest proverbs";
$ui_text['latest_songs']="Latest songs";
$ui_text['random_quotes']="Random quotes";
$ui_text['random_funny_quotes']="Random funny quotes";
$ui_text['random_aphorisms']="Random aphorisms";
$ui_text['random_lines']="Random lines";
$ui_text['random_poems']="Random poems";
$ui_text['random_limericks']="Random limericks";
$ui_text['random_haiku']="Random haiku";
$ui_text['random_proverbs']="Random proverbs";
$ui_text['random_songs']="Random songs";
$ui_text['more_quotes']="more quotes";
$ui_text['more_funny_quotes']="more funny quotes";
$ui_text['more_aphorisms']="more aphorisms";
$ui_text['more_lines']="more lines";
$ui_text['more_poems']="more poems";
$ui_text['more_limericks']="more limericks";
$ui_text['more_haiku']="more creations";
$ui_text['more_proverbs']="more proverbs";
$ui_text['more_songs']="more songs";
$ui_text['more']="more";
$ui_text['read_more']="Read more";
$ui_text['unknown']="unknown author";
$ui_text['translator']="translated by";
$ui_text['performed']="performed by";
$ui_text['music']="music";
$ui_text['lyrics']="lyrics";
$ui_text['moderator']="Moderator";
$ui_text['editors']="Editors";
$ui_text['user']="Submitted by";
$ui_text['anonym']="anonym";
$ui_text['webmaster']="webmaster";
$ui_text['contact']="Contact";
$ui_text['related_photos']="Related photos";
$ui_text['related_photos_more']="Search for more...";
$ui_text['stats']="Statistics";
$ui_text['until_now']="until now";
$ui_text['in_english']="in English";
$ui_text['in_romanian']="in Romanian";
$ui_text['in_spanish']="in Spanish";
$ui_text['in_italian']="in Italian";
$ui_text['page']="page";
$ui_text['page_first']="first page";
$ui_text['page_previous']="previous page";
$ui_text['page_next']="next page";
$ui_text['page_last']="last page";
$ui_text['search']="Search";
$ui_text['search_all']="all";
$ui_text['search_sms']="SMS (short quotes)";
$ui_text['search_recent']="recent searches";
$ui_text['search_recent_title']="from recent searches";
$ui_text['search_recent_list']="Also view results of other recent searches";
$ui_text['search_top']="top searches";
$ui_text['send_message']="Message";
$ui_text['send_name']="Signature (sender's name)";
$ui_text['send_mail']="Sender's e-mail address";
$ui_text['send_to']="Recipient's e-mail address";
$ui_text['send_empty_to']="Please enter recipient's e-mail address.";
$ui_text['send_empty_mail']="Please enter sender's e-mail address.";
$ui_text['send_stop_abuse']="Your message has been sent. You can send another one.";
$ui_text['send_stop_html']="HTML is not allowed.";
$ui_text['send_stop_url']="URLs are not allowed.";
$ui_text['send_confirmation']="Your message has been sent. You can send another one.";
$ui_text['send_link']="Send by e-mail";
$ui_text['problem_mistake']="This text contains a mistake";
$ui_text['problem_duplicate']="This text is duplicate";
$ui_text['problem_author']="I know the author of this text";
$ui_text['problem_change']="The author of this text is another person";
$ui_text['problem_another']="Another problem";
$ui_text['problem_message']="More info, if necessary";
$ui_text['problem_name']="Your name";
$ui_text['problem_mail']="Your e-mail";
$ui_text['problem_confirmation']="Thank you!";
$ui_text['problem_link']="Report problem";
$ui_text['vote']="vote";
$ui_text['vote_i']="idea";
$ui_text['vote_i5']="brilliant";
$ui_text['vote_i4']="intelligent";
$ui_text['vote_i3']="interesting";
$ui_text['vote_i2']="arguable";
$ui_text['vote_i1']="stupid";
$ui_text['vote_e']="style";
$ui_text['vote_e5']="splendid";
$ui_text['vote_e4']="beautiful";
$ui_text['vote_e3']="nice";
$ui_text['vote_e2']="modest";
$ui_text['vote_e1']="common";
$ui_text['vote_t']="tone";
$ui_text['vote_t5']="hilarious";
$ui_text['vote_t4']="funny";
$ui_text['vote_t3']="moderate";
$ui_text['vote_t2']="serious";
$ui_text['vote_t1']="sad";
$ui_text['vote_tip1']="1 vote until now";
$ui_text['vote_tipb']="the average from";
$ui_text['vote_tipe']="votes";
$ui_text['vote_submit']="Vote";
$ui_text['vote_confirmation']="Thank you for your vote!";
$ui_text['vote_only1']="One vote until now, it's not enough, vote!";
$ui_text['vote_only2']="Two votes until now, it's not enough, vote!";
$ui_text['vote_link']="Vote!";
$ui_text['copy_info']="Click in the field, then press CTRL+C to copy the HTML code";
$ui_text['copy_solid']="solid border";
$ui_text['copy_dashed']="dashed border";
$ui_text['copy_dotted']="dotted border";
$ui_text['copy_double']="double border";
$ui_text['copy_groove']="groove border";
$ui_text['copy_ridge']="ridge border";
$ui_text['copy_inset']="inset border";
$ui_text['copy_outset']="outset border";
$ui_text['copy_no']="no border";
$ui_text['copy_blue']="blue";
$ui_text['copy_green']="green";
$ui_text['copy_red']="red";
$ui_text['copy_purple']="purple";
$ui_text['copy_cyan']="cyan";
$ui_text['copy_gold']="gold";
$ui_text['copy_silver']="silver";
$ui_text['copy_black']="black";
$ui_text['copy_submit']="Change";
$ui_text['copy_link']="Copy!";
$ui_text['comment']="comment";
$ui_text['comment_name']="Name (required)";
$ui_text['comment_mail']="E-mail address (hidden)";
$ui_text['comment_0']="No comments until now.";
$ui_text['comment_said']="said on";
$ui_text['comment_show']="show the commented quote";
$ui_text['comment_link']="Comment!";
$ui_text['comments']="comments";
$ui_text['comments_latest']="Latest comments";
$ui_text['add_quote']="Submit quote";
$ui_text['add_aphorism']="Submit aphorism";
$ui_text['add_lines']="Submit lines";
$ui_text['add_poem']="Submit poem";
$ui_text['add_limerick']="Submit limerick";
$ui_text['add_haiku']="Submit haiku";
$ui_text['add_proverb']="Submit proverb";
$ui_text['add_song']="Submit song";
$ui_text['add_check']="Check if it already exist on the site";
$ui_text['add_title']="Title";
$ui_text['add_author']="Author's name (empty for unknown author)";
$ui_text['add_lyrics']="Lyrics' author";
$ui_text['add_composer']="Music's composer";
$ui_text['add_performer']="The most representative performer";
$ui_text['add_translator']="Translator's name (if it's the case)";
$ui_text['add_source']="Source (title of the book, movie, magazine etc, if it's known)";
$ui_text['add_source_song']="Musical album, opera or folklore (if it's known)";
$ui_text['add_source_proverb']="Proverb's origin, plural form (for example, English proverbs)";
$ui_text['add_date']="Date when it was written or published for the first time";
$ui_text['add_date2']="only if it's known; you may enter month and year or year only";
$ui_text['add_notes']="Notes (they are not published, but they are read by webmaster and some can be useful for the future)";
$ui_text['add_name']="Your name (optional, for credits)";
$ui_text['add_mail']="Your e-mail address (optional)";
$ui_text['add_confirm']="The record is added to the database.";
$ui_text['add_more']="If you know another quote, please submit it.";
$ui_text['submit']="Submit";
$ui_text['nothing']="Nothing to show";
$ui_text['nothing_more']="Nothing more to show";
$ui_text['month_01']="January";
$ui_text['month_02']="February";
$ui_text['month_03']="March";
$ui_text['month_04']="April";
$ui_text['month_05']="May";
$ui_text['month_06']="June";
$ui_text['month_07']="July";
$ui_text['month_08']="August";
$ui_text['month_09']="September";
$ui_text['month_10']="October";
$ui_text['month_11']="November";
$ui_text['month_12']="December";
?>


For she had a tongue with a tang,
Would cry to a sailor, "Go hang!"
She loved not the savor of tar nor of pitch,
Yet a tailor might scratch her where'er she did itch.
Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!
limerick by William Shakespeare from The Tempest, Act II, Scene 2 (1611)
Added by Dan CostinaÅŸ
1 comment - Comment! | Vote! | Copy!


A young man who liked to rock boats
In order to get people's goats
Gave just one more rock
Then suffered a shock
A bubble the spot now denotes.
limerick by E.B. White
Added by Dan CostinaÅŸ
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

There was a young boy from Lough Ree,
Who wanted to travel the sea.
So he built a small boat,
And set it afloat,
But forgot to get in it, you see!
limerick by Mary Butler
Added by Dan CostinaÅŸ
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!


There was an old man of the Cape
Who made himself garments of crepe.
When asked, "Do they tear?"
He replied, "Here and there,
But they're perfectly splendid for shape!"
limerick by Robert Louis Stevenson
Added by Dan CostinaÅŸ
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
